Don't Want to Lose You
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: "I... need you..." he mumbled between sobs. The grip he had on Kendall's wrist moved to his hand. He gripped Kendall's hand tightly but with a gentle hold nonetheless, not wanting to hurt him any more than he already was. "We all need you. Logan, James, Katie, Mama Knight, and I need you. I can't lose my baby brother."


**Okay, so even though she's read most of the story, I would like to dedicate this one-shot to BTRElevate24seven. Happy birthday, beautiful. I love you so much. 3**

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He curled his fingers around the frail wrist that belonged to that of his best friend. His caramel eyes reflected concern and sadness directed towards the younger boy. A soft sigh escaped his lips. It was past two in the morning - twenty-five minutes past two to be exact. He had been in the hospital for five hours now; about three of them having been spent waiting impatiently in the waiting room for news on the other boy. The other two he had spent sitting here and watching the steady rise and fall of Kendall's chest.

"God, Kendall." He shook his head, his eyes pooling with tears. A humorless and forced chuckle slipped from his lips. "I always thought I'd be the one to end up in the hospital because of a stupid stunt, not you." And he had. Carlos Garcia had always been a very energetic teenager. Kendall - unlike him - was calm and relaxed, however having his own crazy and hyper side at times. Sadly, now he was bound to a hospital bed with a bad concussion and a couple of broken ribs because of one of those times.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor to Kendall's left and the rise and fall of his chest were the only things that alerted Carlos of the fact that the boy in front of him was indeed alive. He had not been expected to live, not after having been riding his bike at a very fast pace, being hit by a car, having flown off his bike and thrown onto the pavement with such force. Waiting on news for him had been excruciating; possibly having been the longest three hours of Carlos' life. Fortunately, he had had Logan, James, Katie, and Mrs. Knight by his side. But after having convinced them to go home and get some rest, he had been left alone.

Bad thoughts consumed his mind; evil and terrifying thoughts that refused to leave him alone. He could have lost Kendall that night - actually, he was still at a risk of losing him, but the chances of that happening were not very high. His head told him otherwise though. It would come up with awful scenarios that made him want to be buried alive. He could not lose Kendall, he was his little brother, and he loved him more than words could ever express. Losing him would destroy him.

"Please wake up, Kendall. I can't lose you, none of us can." He inhaled and leaned forward, bringing his forehead to lay on Kendall's chest. Tears pooled in his eyes and fell from them, despite the fact that he was trying his best to hold them back. Why? He didn't know. It wasn't like anyone could see or hear him cry anyway.

Droplets fell from his tan cheeks and dampened the fabric of the blond boy's hospital gown. Sobs wracked his body as images and sounds of that night filled his mind. The squealing of tires against pavement, the sound of Kendall's body being thrown off his bike and dropping onto the hard ground, the blood, the wailing of sirens, the cries and tears. It was all too much.

"I... need you..." he mumbled between sobs. The grip he had on Kendall's wrist moved to his hand. He gripped Kendall's hand tightly but with a gentle hold nonetheless, not wanting to hurt him any more than he already was. "We all need you. Logan, James, Katie, Mama Knight, and I need you. I can't lose my baby brother."

He pushed himself up then, his head no longer resting on Kendall's chest. His left hand moved to Kendall's head; his fingers lightly brushing against the blond bangs that covered the boy's forehead. "Goodnight, buddy," he whispered, remembering that he had promised Mrs. Knight that he would only stay for a while.

Receiving no response from the unconscious boy, Carlos got up and walked towards the hospital room's door, but not before pressing a kiss to Kendall's forehead and giving his cold and unmoving hand a gentle squeeze.

He shut the door quietly, even though he knew that the sound of it closing would not disturb Kendall. The hospital's hallways were quiet for the most part, though he could hear voices further down the hall. The bright lights that had been blinding in the evening were now dimmed, making it seem like he was in a horror movie scene. His sneakers scraping against the white tile floor with each step was the only sound that he could hear nearby. Other than that, nothing.

Tapping his foot impatiently against the floor in front of the elevator, Carlos pressed the button so that the doors would open. Only a few seconds passed by before they did. It was then that he stepped into the claustrophobic little rectangular box and pressed the button for the hospital's main floor. He leaned against the elevator's railing, gulping as the rumble of the elevator was heard and it started to move downward.

It only took about ten seconds for the elevator to come to a halt and for the doors to open. Carlos stepped out, eyeing his surroundings. In the waiting room only a few people sat -a mother and her little girl, who seemed to be around eight years old, an old man, and-

"I thought you'd never be out." Carlos bit his lower lip, eyeing Logan who sat up from the cold, blue plastic chair in the far corner of the room. He opened his mouth to ask him what he was doing there, but Logan beat him to it. "I came to get you. Mama Knight didn't want you riding a cab at this hour, said it was too dangerous for a 17-year-old to be out on his own at this time of the night."

Carlos chuckled; a short, humorless chuckle. "Oh, but two 17-year-olds is fine?" he questioned. Logan shook his head and brought his right arm to wrap around the shorter boy's shoulders. Carlos leaned against the touch, his head coming to rest against Logan's right shoulder.

"She just worries, you know that."

"I know."

"We should get going." Logan slipped his arm off of Carlos' shoulders and motioned him to follow him. The slightly taller brunette placed his hand into his jacket's left front pocket and pulled out the Big Time Rush Mobile's car keys. Carlos reached forward, offering to drive them back, but Logan shook his head and gave him a disapproving look. "Sorry, 'Los, but you look exhausted. I'll drive, don't worry," he said.

"Alright," the older boy mumbled.

He followed Logan out the hospital's front doors and to where the car was parked, his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets. Logan unlocked the doors and they both slipped inside. For a moment they both fell into silence, each consumed in their own thoughts. Logan was just about ready to break the silence when a sob slipped from Carlos' lips, his brown eyes filling with tears. He clenched his hands together before suddenly opening the door to the passenger's seat and leaning his body outside of the car. The contents of the little food he had eaten at the hospital spilled onto the concrete as nausea built up in his stomach. Not knowing what to do, Logan rubbed the boy's quivering back. When he was done, Carlos closed the door and tiredly looked over at Logan.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice sounding hoarse. Logan forcibly smiled at him and whispered a quiet "it's okay" in return. Carlos did not smile back. His eyes reflected pain, sadness and fear.

"Are you alright?" Logan asked in a low voice. Carlos shook his head no. "Your stomach?" Another shake of his head. "Kendall?" A nod. "Talk to me."

"I'm scared, Logie," Carlos whispered, his eyes stinging with tears once again. "We could have l-lost him." His voice cracked. "I can't even- I can't even imagine a world without him."

Logan placed his hands on Carlos' shoulders, earning his attention. "But we didn't, and the chances of that happening are rather low. Kendall is a fighter. I know he will be alright." Carlos whimpered, a tear slipping down his cheek. Logan pulled him close, his arms tightening around the smaller boy. "We'll come back in the morning and check up on him. Hopefully the doctors have more information on him by then."

Carlos nodded, and it was then that Logan let go and pulled out of the parking lot.

Carlos leaned his head against the glass window and closed his eyes. The movements of the car lulled him to sleep rather quickly. When he awoke next, he was no longer in the car; he was lying on his bed with James sitting on the edge, talking to Logan, who was sitting on James' bed.

"I'm worried about him. Then again, I'm worried about you as well." Carlos closed his eyes, realizing neither of the two had realized he had woken up.

"Worried about me why?" It was James' voice; broken, full of sadness hidden behind a futile attempt to act as if everything was fine.

"Because I can see the sadness in your eyes," Logan whispered. "I see the way you carry yourself, trying to act strong and make us think you're okay when you're far from it." Silence from James. "I understand why you're scared -why you both are. Heck, I'm worried sick, too. But we need to be there for each other. When Kendall sees us," Carlos realized he didn't add the word 'if,' "he won't like knowing that we were all sulking in silence. We need to be there for each other, that's why we're brothers."

"I know," James said, or more like murmured. Silence followed for a few seconds, then, "Just like I know that Carlos is very much awake and listening to this whole conversation." Carlos tensed up.

"In my defense, you guys aren't good at keeping a quiet conversation." He opened his eyes, sat up in bed and looked at the clock, which read 9:36 AM. "Can we go see Kendall yet?"

"The hospital doesn't allow visitors until ten thirty, but while we wait you can shower and change into some clean clothes. Also, breakfast is waiting for you in the kitchen... Chocolate chip pancakes, I know you like those."

"I'm not hungry."

Logan frowned. "Will you gain your appetite back if I tell you that the hospital called to let us know that Kendall finally woke up?" Carlos' eyes brightened up at the news.

"Really?"

James smiled. "Yes, really," he answered for Logan. "Apparently he's been asking for us ever since he woke up. So if I were you, I would get off my lazy butt and get ready." Carlos didn't need to be told twice. He was up in a flash and practically absorbing his pancakes, already dressed and ready in a matter of just five minutes.

"Can we go now?" he asked as he slipped his jacket over his shoulders. Logan shook his head, smiling softly at the smaller boy.

"Let me go check on Mama Knight and Katie first and see if they're ready." The brunette turned to make his way to the room Mrs. Knight and Kendall's little sister shared, but he stopped once he came face to face with the two, already dressed and ready. "I guess that answers that question," he said with a shrug, then turned to yell at James. "James!"

"I'm going, I'm going!"

The brunette emerged from the room he shared with the Latino, his hair perfectly combed. "Okay, let's go see Kendall."

With those words being said, the group of five walked out of the apartment and made their way downstairs, to the BTR Mobile, until they were all inside. Mrs. Knight offered to drive them, with Katie sitting on the passenger seat and the boys piled up together on the back seat.

Mrs. Knight drove at a frantic state, muttering words under her breath when she would come to a stoplight. From what the boys could tell, she was determined to get to the hospital as soon as possible in order to see Kendall. They all were more than eager to see the dirty blond, green-eyed boy.

After a lot of stop lights and stop signs, car honking and yelling, the group of five made it to the hospital. They all piled out and rushed to the entrance, the boys making it to the front desk first. After being told that only two people could go in to see Kendall at a time, it was decided that Mrs. Knight and Katie would go in first, followed by James and Logan, and lastly, Carlos.

It took about twenty minutes for Mrs. Knight and Katie to come back out, and about fifteen for James and Logan to do so. By the time they walked out, Carlos was impatiently swinging his legs back and forth on his seat, staring at the clock every few seconds. As soon as they allowed him to go in, the black-haired boy jumped out of his seat and practically rushed towards Kendall's hospital room.

Remembering Kendall's fragile state, Carlos stopped outside of the room's door and quietly pushed it open. The blond was sitting up on the bed, a bandage wrapped around his head. When Carlos walked in he looked up, a little smile stretching his lips, showing off his dimples. Carlos smiled back, saying a quiet "hey" as he did so.

"Hi," Kendall whispered as Carlos closed the door. The older boy made his way towards Kendall's bedside and the blond opened his arms. Carlos smiled and closed the distance between them and hugged him tight, letting his head rest against the younger boy's shoulder.

"We almost lost you," Carlos whispered, breaking away from the hug. He looked into Kendall's green eyes, feeling his own eyes well up with tears. "I was so scared... Are you feeling okay? Is there anything I can get you?"

The blond laughed softly. "I'm not feeling too well, but I'm gonna be okay, don't worry." He looked down at his hands and then looked up once more. "I'm sorry I scared you all. I didn't mean to."

"Hey," Carlos whispered softly, taking a hold of Kendall's chin and forcing him to look him in the eye, "you have no reason to be sorry. We all worry about you because we care about you and love you."

"I know."

"And we're all here for you, no matter what, okay?"

"I know. Thank you," Kendall murmured. It was then that Carlos realized that he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He quietly pulled Kendall's blanket up to his shoulders and watched as he slowly drifted off to sleep. Carlos stayed with him for a while, running his fingers against Kendall's blond hair until he was sure he was asleep.

Then he pressed a kiss to the top of Kendall's head like he had done the night before, and walked out, leaving his little brother to be engulfed by a pain-free darkness.

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**Like it or not? Let me know. And thank you for reading.**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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